Red Flags for Spiritually Abusive Environments
Part 2: "Jesus +" mentality, authoritarianism, and other red flags
For those of you who know me personally, you probably know that I absolutely love stories, storytelling, and narrative work. However, for these first few Substack articles, we’re just going to focus on the ‘meat and potatoes’ as we examine spiritual abuse, red flags, and common tactics of manipulation and control. There are many reasons for this, but above all else, my hope is that readers might be able to recognize and address elements of potential spiritual abuse or oppression in their own experiences, regardless of their denominational background or faith expression.
Let’s dive in, shall we?
“Jesus +”
In its most basic sense, spiritual abuse or oppression in Christian settings distorts the Gospel by promoting the idea that followers must do or achieve something in addition to believing in Christ in order to be saved, be accepted (by God or by the leader/church/group), or to earn some kind of blessing, spiritual power, or favor.
This differs from organizational requirements, such as certain denominations or churches requiring pastors or elders to pursue a specific level of training or education for leadership roles. The “Jesus +” mentality suggests that God’s prerequisites for acceptance, salvation, or spiritual power align with the leader’s or church’s criteria.
It should also be noted that refusing to associate with someone who perpetuates abuse or causes harm to the vulnerable is not the same as placing subjective demands on followers in God’s name.
Authoritarianism
When a leader is believed to be the ‘God-given authority,’ speaks on behalf of God, and/or possesses divine understanding or revelation, this often creates a culture of unquestioning obedience to authority. In systems like these, you will often find:
Unilateral decision-making based on the leader’s ideas. The leader has the final say on what God wants, the ‘right’ interpretation of Scripture, etc.
Little checks and balances or accountability for leadership, while the leadership exerts high degrees of control or influence over followers.
Followers often become increasingly dependent on the leader or group’s ideals in order to make decisions that are deemed pleasing to God.
Leaders hand-select other leaders, board members, elders, etc. within the community based on their compliance and/or conformity to the leader’s ideals.
Questioning or disagreeing with leadership is unacceptable, and those who dare to do so are often labeled as divisive, rebellious, deceived, or some other perceived deficiency within the follower.
Culture of honor: In an unhealthy culture of honor, reputation and social respect are highly valued, resulting in excessive reverence or honor to the leader(s). Unhealthy culture of honor often entails the following:
Leader(s) demonstrate sensitivity or intolerance to criticism or feedback, even to the point of perceiving pushback as ‘attacks.’
Disagreeing with the leader is viewed as dishonoring the leader.
Secrecy and closed-door conversations serve to protect reputation or cover/hide faults or vulnerability of the leader.
Emphasis on loyalty to the leader/group.
Obedience and submission: Obedience to the leader is synonymous with obedience to God, which earns God’s blessing, pleasure, or favor. Conversely, disobedience to the leader is equated with disobedience to God, which is often believed to warrant divine or natural repercussions.
Rigid, dogmatic, or oppressive doctrines: Morally-loaded, black-and-white thinking coupled with the inability to tolerate differing perspectives creates an echo chamber of shame, guilt, judgment, and fear that often suppress critical thinking and personal autonomy.
“High stakes” faith or phobic indoctrination: Fear and/or shame are often used as a currency for submission. Whether it’s fear of eternal damnation or the fear of missing out on ‘God’s best,’ invoking the fear of divine retribution pulls a deep, powerful lever within the heart of those who want to please God. Trying to constantly please an easily-disappointed God keeps a person living in fear, chronic ‘survival mode,’ and overdrive.
Superiority and elitism: Elitist mentality occurs when a group or leader claims to have understanding of absolute truth, the ‘right way’ of doing things, special status, and/or divine favor that sets them apart in some way. These attitudes are associated with judgmentalism, conformity, and exclusivity.
Conformity and group-first mentality: The group’s mission and purposes (or “God’s” purposes for the group) are elevated above the interests and wellbeing of the individuals who comprise the group.
“Us vs. them” mentality: Strong group identity is held in place by an ‘us vs. them’ mentality which often involves a sense of favoritism or superiority within the group, as well as negative attitudes towards outsiders (such as fear, superiority, or discrimination). This can range from viewing outsiders as lost souls in need of the group’s enlightenment to viewing them as an enemy deserving of extermination.
‘In-group’/’out-group’ language: Reinforces a strong group identity and distinguishes the group from those outside the group. Examples include:
“We are the remnant, the faithful few, the leaders in God’s end-time army.”
“Most other churches are spiritually dead and lifeless, but God is truly moving here.”
“The world will never understand our mission, but God has seen our faithful sacrifice and has therefore chosen us to be the true pioneers of this movement.”
An answer for everything: Spiritually abusive or high control leaders or groups often claim to have divine revelation, understanding, or explanations for everything. A few themes can be noted:
In totalistic systems, there is an internalized ideology of “the truth”
The “best way,” the “right way,” “God’s way”
Little tolerance for doubt, uncertainty, and wrestling, as this is seen as a sign of inferiority, lack of faith, or spiritual unenlightenment.
Overly simplistic explanations create a sense of black-and-white certainty while suppressing critical thinking and feelings of doubt.
Overspiritualization: ‘Overspiritualizing’ refers to the tendency to conceptualize all issues, events, and experiences through a purely religious or spiritual lens, dismissing or minimizing practical factors including psychological, physical, emotional, or relational domains. For example, depression or anxiety could be viewed as demonic oppression, a lack of sufficient trust or faith in God, or a natural consequence of a ‘sin issue’ on behalf of the sufferer.
But wait, there’s more… (unfortunately)
Obviously, there is quite a lot to unpack here, and in future posts, I’m eager to talk more about healing process and ‘green flags’ that would (hopefully) indicate healthier dynamics within faith-based communities.
However, please bear with me for the next few posts as we delve into identifying undue influence and coercive control, as well as defining some commonly-used manipulation tactics associated with unhealthy leadership, spiritually unsafe environments, and high control groups.
If you have made it this far, thank you for being here. This can be incredibly heavy content, especially for those who are processing new layers of their faith experience for the first time. Take care of yourselves as you read and do your own research.
In closing, remember that nothing and no one is “all good” or “all bad.” Even if your community or leader checks some of these boxes we have discussed today, it does not mean that they should be definitively labeled as abusive. Rather, keep in mind that most things exist on a spectrum, ranging from healthy/adaptive/benign, all the way to abusive/destructive/harmful. While it is possible that you are witnessing indicators of abuse, it is also possible that you are seeing areas of emotional, spiritual, or relational immaturity that could be ‘workable’ with healthy communication, skill-building, and meaningful correction. It can be difficult to discern the difference and figure out how to navigate forward, but let’s plan to chat more about that later. In the meantime,
“Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love.” -1 Cor. 16:13-14 (NIV)
For those of you who feel ready to keep reading along, please read with care. Take breaks, make yourself a tea, touch some grass, or go pet your doggo. Your nervous system will thank you. :)